Finding Silence in the Noise
The following was written by CWFA volunteer Frankie Peters and was the featured article in the May 2020 Dharma Friends Newsletter.
“In the stillness of the quiet,
if we listen, we can hear the whisper
of the heart giving strength to weakness,
courage to fear, hope to despair.”
Howard Thurman
When asked to write an article for the Dharma Friends newsletter, I decided to share my experience of seeking silence in an increasingly noisy world. Silence has been my spiritual practice for some time now, and I teach a class to seniors on this topic for Lifequest of Arkansas.
Regardless of religious belief, political persuasion, ethnic identification, economic status or nationality, the need for quieting the mind in order to hear the heart’s wisdom is universal. The human mind is a noisy place, at least mine is. But I have learned that we can find stillness and silence within with a little effort and practice. Within that silence, we find a connection to our best selves that brings peace, forgiveness and compassion for self and for others.
SILENCE IN PRISON
I have never been in prison, so I do not have direct experience in the environment in which most of you live. What I do know, I learned from men I met while a volunteer letter-writer for Compassion Works for All. As many of you know, CWFA was founded by Buddhist teacher and spiritual leader, Anna Cox, to serve those who are living in prisons throughout the world. Inspired by Anna’s example, I began writing letters to people in prison sharing meditation techniques that Anna and others had taught me. My compassion grew as I learned about your lives inside, and your struggles to accept your past actions and your present circumstances. I quickly found that many of the men I corresponded with had more to teach me about forgiveness and compassion than I had to teach them.
One such man is Elvis G., a lifer in the Florida penitentiary system. Elvis is a man in his late sixties who has been inside since his early twenties. When his letter to CWFA was passed along to me for a response, he was seeking companionship on the Buddhist path. He said that he had been unable to discuss the Dharma with anyone else in the prison because he was in solitary confinement. Nobody he encountered was interested in meditation or Buddhist teachings, but he did receive the Dharma Friends newsletter. After a couple of letters, I could tell that he was sincere and a dedicated practitioner already. I sensed that Elvis had much to teach me.
Elvis and I exchanged letters for several years and became friends due to our mutual interest in the Buddhist path and in training the mind to quiet incessant thinking. Through him I learned that prisons are very noisy places, especially in the general population. To focus your attention within is not only a big challenge but can even be dangerous. Your physical and mental well-being are threatened daily, and any sort of spiritual pursuit seems almost impossible.
However, Elvis was able to progress steadily along his chosen path and had become a dedicated meditator. He founded a prison sangha (community) by teaching several other men meditation techniques and working with the prison chaplain to get the necessary sanctions. Through meditation and dedication to the Dharma, Elvis forgave himself and found a well of compassion within that allowed him to have great compassion for others. I am very grateful to have stumbled into an unlikely friendship with this wise and compassionate fellow practitioner.
HOW TO FIND SILENCE
Here are some of the suggestions that Elvis, Anna, and other teachers have shared with me over the years to help train my mind to find silence within.
Sit in a comfortable but upright position either cross-legged or in a chair with feet on the floor.
Hands may rest on your knees or in your lap with thumbs touching and one palm resting in the other. Eyes may be closed or slightly open and unfocused, unless you find it helpful to gaze on a special object like a picture of a spiritual teacher.
While a relaxed, upright posture is helpful, especially when you are first learning to find stillness, it becomes less important as your mind begins to quiet down.
The key for me has been to use my breath as a focal point, either feeling the breath coming in and going out at the nostrils or feeling the rise and fall of the belly. This focus grounds you in your body and gives the mind something to do.
When thoughts arise, gently bring your mind back to your breath.
I started meditation by setting a timer for five minutes, and I struggled for quite some time to stay focused on my breath for even that short a time. Gradually, I could sit for extended periods, but I still set a timer for 20 minutes most sessions.
At first, I was determined to find the “right way” to meditate. I wanted to achieve perfection! But meditation is not about achieving anything. It is not about being a better person. It is not about finding nirvana or enlightenment. It is not about doing anything really—it is about simply being. It is an effective tool for training the mind to relax, to slow down, to let stillness and silence become dominant. One teacher said to me,
“Drop the story you have told yourself about your life. You are not your story. You are not your thoughts.”
We are all more than the sum of our experiences. Each of us has a deeper self, a buddhanature, that we only come to know when we find a way to drop out of our heads and into our hearts.
When we learn to listen to our deeper selves, we find a wellspring of compassion and love. My teachers also taught me that we must begin with compassion for ourselves. I think this is particularly difficult for those who have been judged harshly all their lives by parents, teachers, and other authority figures. We believe we are bad or wrong or flawed beyond redemption. Overcoming a lifetime of negative thinking about yourself is not an easy task. Forgiving yourself is not easy, especially when others have not forgiven you. But with practice, with perseverance, with patience, it is possible.
FIND THE CONNECTION
So, when thoughts arise and you catch your mind wandering, be kind. Our minds never actually stop thinking because that’s what the mind does. But focusing on your breath always brings you into the present moment. And the more you practice dropping out of the thinking mind, the more peaceful you will become within. The more the thoughts are silenced, the more you will find your true wisdom and compassion within. In the book entitled, Silence: The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise, Buddhist monk and author, Thich Nhat Hanh, writes:
“To fully experience this life as a human being, we all need to connect with our desire to realize something larger than our individual selves. This can be motivation enough to change our ways so we can find relief from the noise that fills our heads.”
All the world’s great religions recognize the need for silence and contemplation in our spiritual journey. So, whether you are Christian or Buddhist, Jewish or Muslim, agnostic or atheist, you will benefit from finding your path to silence within. You will come to know the love and compassion that resides within you. Your heart will soften, and your innate wisdom will arise.
May you all find your path to wisdom, to compassion for self and others, to the peace that passes all understanding.
May we all find silence within the noise that is life.
You can also view this story on our Medium page HERE.